I normally don't watch movies. This month with nothing better to do. No money to move, buy property, buy a boat, flip a house, raise hell, ski Mt.Shasta or go on an extended hiking trip somewhere on planet Corona, I decided to binge-watch movies to kingdom come. Here is my short review along with the trailers. Enjoy.
WAR MOVIES
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13 hours (2016) - solid and pretty realistic spec ops movie. american operators trapped in benghazi on a compound.
The kill team (2019) - Alexander Skarsgard as an ultra hardline platoon commander in afghanistan. Using the dirtiest methods to find hidden IED's, creating a moral dilemma for a young private. solid movie.
Sand Castle (2017) - young marines in the iraq gulf war try to fix a bombed out pipeline to secure water supply for a local city. but the damn hajis shoot at them at night, bewail their cruel fate during the day, and try anything and everything to sabotage, deceive and kill them. realistic movie and a must watch.
Act of valor (2012) - announced as a highly accurate spec ops movie, but i found it to have too many toys in it and too fast paced. even though real operators played most roles. pretty realistic and good watch for fans of soldier movies. everyone else can pass on this.
Enemy at the gastes (2001) - ed harris as a german sniper, hunting a russian sniper, holding out in stalingrad. graphics look a bit dated, but still an ok war movie. Also with Rachel Weisz.
Lone Survivor (2013) - Mark Wahlberg and half a dozen navy seals get shot up by several hundred taliban. unrealistic movie, no man can still walk and shoot with so many bullet holes in him. only for fans of gore and war. Beautiful cinematography of the Valleys and Mountains of Afghanistan.
Devil's double (2001) if you hate arabs and their conniving backstabbing ways, you will watch this movie and find the ultimate son of iblis. Uday Hussein, ultra rich, ultra bored, ultra cruel son of Saddam Hussein terrorizes an entire city all by himself. Killing, raping, deceiving and lieing at will. Watch only if you own a pair of gloves and a heavybag. you will need them afterwards.
Zero dark thirty (2012) - the fake story how Osama Bin Laden gets tailed and ultimately killed by a whole host of CIA people and operators. this movie is incredibly well made. selling the narrative perfectly. but like most of official history, the so-called facts behind it are completely bogus. beautiful movie though and worth watching. especially if you like FBI, CIA type of stuff.
Tropa de elite 2 (2019) - the rio de janeiro police is trying to get gang wars in check, forming an elite SWAT unit that soon turns out to be just another bunch of goons with a crook commander. a fat television host and slop playboy governor don't make it any better. lots of murder, lots of shooting. all in portuguese with english subtitles. Oh, and I forgot. Lots of drug dealers die too.
Dunkirk (2017) - another war epic, not much fighting, mostly great cinematography, not much shooting but lots of "getting bombed". with Mark Rylance and Tom Hardy, this time flying a spitfire. Great watch, also for those who generally don't like war movies.
Sicario (2015) - Benicio del Toro and Josh Brolin fighting a mexican drug cartel. somewhat violent but very worth watching. One of my secret favorites.
Sicario 2 - Day of the soldado (2018) Benicio del Toro and Josh Brolin fighting the mexican drug cartel again. pretty realistic depiction of the actual situation on the mexican border. if you watched the first one and liked it, this one's a must. this movie proves yet again that escalating violence just leads to more violence. Especially with people who have zero respect for human life.
Meagan Leavey (2017) - a young woman with a crappy unsupportive family joins the marines, joins the K9 squad and gets sent to war. a must watch for all dog lovers. Or Kate Mara.
Greyhound (2020) - Tom Hanks as a young commodore trying to get his supply convoy of US navy ships across the atlantic, but a wolfpack of german subs is giving him hell. Great Movie, great cinematography. Very worth watching if you love ships, or U-boats.
American assassin (2017) - a young american whose girlfriend gets killed by violent jihadists on a beautiful beach, swears revenge, fakes a conversion, then hunts down the remaining members of the cell. his boss is giving him a hard time with his very peculiar way of doing things. a solid movie, but not so terribly realistic. especially the end.
Danger Close (2019) - Vietnam war movie with the ever spooky Travis Fimmel and his eerie eyes. good solid war movie. much tension.
The Outpost (2020) - a restrepo type outpost in afghanistan gets shot to shit. solid war movie with much gore. Scott Eastwood has a solid performance but my favorite character by far is "Carter". he is the perfect soldier, wise, circumspect, courageous and fighting like a lion.
the Liberator - Season One (2020) - made in polska, four episodes of an endearing story of a young sergeant who grows as a GI fighting the germans at anzio just north of Rome in 1944, and turns his team of rejects, mexicans, native americans, cowboys and other misfits into an outstanding combat unit. heavy body count. beautiful animations. filmed with real actors, then turned into what looks like a cartoon movie. brilliant sound, great storytelling. even if you hate war movies, you should not miss this. 4 episodes of 50min each.
Midway (2019) - Roland Emmerich is known for epic productions where americans battle an overwhelming force, be it aliens, disasters, comets, or in this case the mighty japanese navy with her aircraft carriers, highly advanced airplanes and cunning admirals. kinda like Pearl Harbor (2001) only better. if you love airplanes or WW2 movies, this one's for you. In the pacing very similar to Dunkirk (2017) and Greyhound (2020).
Jarhead (2005) - movie about the gulf war that has close to no fighting scenes. only training, grunts going nuts due to long waiting hours and taking shit from superior officers (or emptying their latrines full of shit). amazing cinematography of burning oil wells sending black smoke plumes towards the sky, like in a doomsday vision. this movie doesn't feel like war at all, but a solid 90s flashback. starring jake gyllanhall.
Six - Season One (2017) - Members of Seal Team Six and their alpha male leader fight a muslim terror cell. Little do they know that the underboss of the cell seeks revenge for the killing of his brother a few years ago in afghanistan, where he was shot by SEAL leader while trying to surrender. As if that wasn't enough, most members of the team have trouble with their families too. a solid netflix production, for lovers of the genre.
Fury (2014) - Brad Pitt as a sherman tank commander of the US army, pushing into germany with heavy resistance and an even heavier body count on both sides. pretty realistic and pretty gruesome. with shia lebeouf, jon bernthal and others i've forgotten. Probably the best tank movie in the last 10 yrs. Hit that sonovabitch !
No man's land - season one (2020) - a young french civil engineer called philippe habert travels to turkey, then syria, looking for his assumed dead sister anna, an archeologist that supposedly died in egypt a few years prior. he suspects she might be fighting for the YPG, the kurdish militia against islamic state jihadists. pretty realistic and captivating depiction of the actual fight between peshmerga women and ISIS jihadis.
12 Strong (2018) - a young american captain with no prior combat experience is burning to kick some taliban ass and wants to push the enemy back out of a strategically important valley in northern afghanistan, all the way to masar-i-sharif. he only has three weeks until the winter makes the mountain passes impenetrable, and instead of tanks or BMP's he only has light cavallery and the help of a dubious local warlord. great cinematography, good characters, and description of the afghan culture and mindset. only the fighting is mostly unrealistic, dozens and hundreds of taliban fire their AK's at the american team, which has forgotten to switch god mode off. or probably that's just a scott eastwood thing. good storytelling tho. recommended only for lovers of the genre. everyone else can pass.
Extraction (2020) - do you like gay porn ? behold, handsome chris hemsworth running through daka, bangladesh, which is populated by six trillion skinnies, and a druglord hiding out in his danceclub. The pajeets with their charming brown tan and greedy demeanor turn his day to shit, trying to shoot him literally all the time. those rascals. like in every good gay porn flic, chris looks amazing, shoots like a million of those smelly skinnies, but hardly gets a scratch. if he does, it's only to make him look gangsta. Recommended for lovers of Gay Porn. Or Bangladesh.
Black Hawk Down (2001) - A joint squad of Army Rangers and Delta Force Navy Seals are supposed to get into Mogadishu, kidnap three targets, and leave again. Everything goes completely wrong, hundreds, maybe thousands of skinny brown Hajis turn all their plans to shit, shooting at them with AK's and RPG's. downing several helicopters. the more soldiers are sent in, the more casualties, and every new rescue squad turns out to be the next one to be rescued. Make no mistake, this is probably one of the top 10 war movies ever made. Everything is perfect, the acting, the plot, the camera work, the cut. great movie.
Beasts of no nation (2015) - A young boy has to witness his entire family killed as a civil war engulfs his west african nation. he flees into the bush, where he is picked up by the warlord of a faction of freedom fighters. he becomes a soldier and gets to know war from a different perspective. An in-depth look at the different characters in an african bush war. ultimately the betrayal and downfall of the guerilla, due to political and advertizing struggles. A movie worth watching.
STAR WARS MOVIES
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the Mandalorian - Season 1: if you love star wars. and by that i mean the original 3 star wars movies. this series is a must watch. it is well made, solid acting and good storytelling. a bounty hunter escorts baby yoda around, bringing out his father feelings. Season 2 is still being filmed as we speak.
Solo - a star wars story (2018) - solid star wars material, absolutely recommended for all lovers of the genre. good acting and a surprising end.
Rogue One (2016) - another great movie in the star wars galaxy. definitely recommended for all Star Wars Lovers.
Star Wars Trilogy - the original three movies. i watched them countless times, now gave them another quick rundown, and the first movie is looking a bit dated, the other ones not so much. still a good watch, but not so terribly outstanding as I remember them.
ALL OTHER MOVIES
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bad boys for life (2020) - will smith and martin lawrence fighting a mysterious 'santa muerte' witch and her protege in miami. solid movie, bit on the lighter side, with a surprise ending.
Practical magic (1998) - watched it cause they said it was the most realistic witch movie. but couldn't find much realism in it. OK movie but bottomline is. I now still hate witches. And it's not that realistic either.
Arkansas (2020) - movie about two crazy deadbeat drug dealers, acting all strange in Arkansas, surrounded by other weirdos. if you don't like drugs or Chris Hemsworth you might wanna skip on this.
Capone (2020) - after having a crush on Tom Hardy due to excellent performance in other movies, i gave this one a go. worst 2 hours spent in my life. do not watch. Tom Hardy is not believable as Capone. Sorry. His italian is laughable. Even though the scene where he shits himself in bed is pretty hilarious.
Dreamland (2020) - Dustbowl era 1930s gangster drama with Margot Robbie. sad ending but good period piece. Recommend.
Dreamland (2019) - completely surreal movie about a worn out drug fiend killer who works for a crook boss (Henry Rollins) who's into child trafficking. trading little kids for kiddie sex and blood rituals to a spooky castle uphill where an elusive countess and her even creepier dracula brother live. this movie is captivating, starts out realistic, ends up being unrealistic. but is a must watch. you will learn some things by watching this film. I downloaded it unintentionally, thinking i was getting the 2020 movie of the same name. but never regretted watching it.
Greenland (2020) - gigantic comet hits the earth. Gerard Butler roughing it to get his wife and kid to safety on a mysterious flight to Greenland. Not that realistic. all people behave like selfish nitwits, only thinking about their own survival. Not realistic but good cinematography.
Miss Americana (2020) - the story of Taylor Swift. as told by herself and close associates. we all know there's no business like show business, so you get the story of singer "Taylor Swift", but learn nothing about the actress behind "Taylor Swift". But i guess that goes for every biopic ever made. so is it worth watching ? absolutely. especially for fans of the singer.
The Irishman (2019) - watch robert de niro the old jew pretending to be an irish gangster, working for other scumbag jews pretending to be italian gangsters. watch robert de niro shoot his best friends in the head from close quarters, while talking niceties with them. he wears the exact same face for 3 hours. what a stupid movie. only for fans of gangster movies. or Robert de Niro.
Hey... Are you talking to me ?
Cave (2016) - norwegian movie. a young couple and their friend go caving. solid movie for outdoor freaks with a surprising end. starts out soft but turns violent.
Once upon a time in hollywood (2019) - brad pitt as a stuntman and leo di caprio as an ageing western star in hollywood. this is a triple-A production and excells like most movies with brad pitt in the lead. absolutely worth watching.
The Dressmaker (2015) - kate winslet returns to her childhood village in australia, inhabited by a whole pack of retards that keep superficialities up, but behind each others backs hate on each other and sabotatge each others lives. she tries to come to terms with a bad situation that happened in the past, but ultimately fails because for all her love she gets back nothing but hatred. a must watch movie with great photography, and pretty realistic.
Wind River (2017) - a movie that reminds a lot of fargo, a 1996 movie. lots of mystery, lots of snow, lots of bad blood, lots of secrets. Jeremy Renner excells as a Ranger and Hunter, helping a young CIA agent to solve a mysterious murder. starts soft but in the end turns very violent. great cinematography too. must watch for everyone.
Blade Runner 2049 (2017) - very sci-fi, very well made movie, great soundtrack with lots of synthesizer music. good storyline. recommended for everyone.
Vikings Season 6 - Ivar the boneless is still holing out in the land of Rus with a tyrannical ruler, while his brothers are still at home and Lagertha, now old, has moved out of town to a more silent village, where she takes care of her warrior shield maidens and the elderly. if you watched all other seasons. you will watch this one too.
The Drop (2014) - Noomi Rapace as a damsel in distress and Tom Hardy playing a humble bar owner with a big heart of gold, tyrannized by the chechen mob and a lunatic creep who acts like a complete A-hole.. He is trying to help a dog he found in the trash. and everyone's giving him a hard time. Tom Hardy at his best. pretty slow paced movie but very well made.
Mad Max Fury Road (2015) - Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron fight for their life and those with them on a trip thru a surreal desert landscape, somewhere, sometime in a place after the apocalypse. fighting those who are cruel, have all the guns, and all the water, which has become the most prized staple. More so than bullets and gas. Great Movie.
the other lamb (2020) - a deranged cult leader and his harem of close to 20 or 30 brides live secluded in the North American wilderness. most brides live in complete emotional and sexual dependency until one girl decides she's had enough of his shit. solid movie.
Fantasy Island (2020) - a mysterious billionaire invites some young people onto his island, claiming the island can fulfill them their biggest secret desire. the whole promise turns out to materialize way different than they expected. first its all fun, but later there's some shooting, some people die. some make it. The script writer must have done one hell of a job in this movie. It's so complicated you'll have to watch it three or four times just to get the plot.
Papillon (2017) - if you watched the old Papillon, you will love this one too. its not an outstanding movie, but a solid one. Just like the original motion picture with steve mcQueen and dustin hoffman from the 70s.
Enola Holmes (2020) - the quirky teenage sister of Sherlock Holmes gets caught up in her own investigations. Very nice movie. also for families.
Kalashnikov (2020) - supposedly a biopic about mikhail kalashnikov, who built the AK47, the most popular assault rifle in the world. good movie, but like all other biopics based on official history, which we know is lies. does it make the movie a bad movie. not really. just know what to expect from it.
Inheritance (2020) - a young billionaire daughter of a NYC tycoon learns about the terrible secrets her father left her along with her inheritance. She is not exactly ready for the dark secrets she uncovers. a real thriller, not for the faint of heart.
Green Book (2018) - Mads Mikkelsen as a simpleminded bouncer who gets to work for a very well educated black singer in the 60s, driving him around and learning firsthand what racial discrimination means. very quality movie and worth watching. wether you like BLM or not.
After we collided (2020) - i watched this movie, forgot what it's all about. but if you love young people having sex and lieing to each other and throwing tantrums, this one is for you.
Unhinged (2020) we all know Russell Crowe from Gladiator in 2001, where he was the hero fighting Joaquin Phoenix as the evil emperor and his goons. In this movie Russell Crowe is 20 yrs older, fat, mean, nasty, conniving, literally at the end of the line and if that get's you off you should totally watch this movie. nerve tearing to the end.
The Aeronauts (2019) - Eddie Redmayne as a young scientist that tries to finance a balloon trip to the high stratosphere in order to make progress in weather forecasting. he gets ridiculed and no financial support, but makes the trip anyway. not entirely realistic but outstanding cinematography. great movie. recommended for aviators or scientist.
The best of enemies (2019) - a young tank stop owner and youth leader in the Ku Klux Klan somewhere in the South gets in the crossfire of his own clan brothers when the black power movement creates a stir in his village. When a black lady helps his disabled son, he turns and has to part with his racial prejudice.
'71 (2014) - a british soldier gets separated from his unit during the belfast riots in 1971. injured and alone, he struggles to survive while the IRA, a pro-british gang, an undercover agent and the british military look for him. a solid movie with lots of suspension and very peculiar accents from northern ireland.
Book of Mormon Videos - TV production with 3 seasons in the can. After Islam and Christianity both have at least one great movie under their belt, to actually tell the story behind the religion, finally the book of mormon is painted in vivid imagery as well. the BOM contains lots of history (which is believed to be accurate by almost 17mio mormons worldwide, as of 2020). But it was never possible to actually visualize it. That's why this series is such a game-changer. At least if you grew up in Utah or the LDS faith. Sadly, the first Season is quite catchy, but the latter two rather boring, with basically nothing but some men clad in ancient garb, doing some blabla. Now that might be interesting to hear from a pulpit on sunday, but for a movie, well, not really.. The first season is the best, containing more action. Nephi builds a ship, steals some secret tablets from a villain's lair, builds a bow to hunt animals. Way more interesting than to hear some old guy ramble along.
Logan Lucky (2017) - a bunch of rednecks decide to rob the NASCAR racetrack. neat movie with a great soundtrack, some hillbilly accents, a very charming young daughter, retard cops and a woman who runs a hair salon. what else can you ask for. only Daniel Craig's hillbilly accent isn't very convincing. but small price to pay. did I mentioned Adam Driver is a one-armed bartender ? Now I did.
Mr. and Mrs Smith (2005) - This is probably the worst Brad Pitt Movie I've ever seen. Two Secret Agents meet each other in South America, get married, keeping their private lives to themselves, until they one day realize their significant other is in fact an agent, like themselves. I find the entire plot so utterly rediculous, the characters lame. the marriage counsellor scenes in between are just as annoying, Angelina constantly belittling and correcting her significant other, instead of putting her big mushy botox lips to far better use. then the never-ending and completely irrealistic, matrix-style shooting scenes. jesus christ, i almost fell asleep to this movie.
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fity shades of grey (2015), fifty shades darker (2017), fifty shades freed (2018), fifty shades of black (2016) - this book was a bestseller and so they made a movie, then they made two more movies, which are about the same quality,or slightly more boring. its pretty much the old tale of the penniless workmaid meeting the dashing knight in shiny armour, that is all powerful, insanely rich and with the body of an ancient god. obviously these movies are made for women, so if you wanna show your significant other a good time, watch these movies with her. there is lots of posh cars, interior design, a few aircraft like a helicopter, sailplane and private jet. some posh clubbing thrown in, and lots of nice looking houses. the ideal recruitment franchise for ivy league schools or a forbes magazine abo. i only made the mistake of watching "fifty shades of black (2016)" first, which is a satire with a black main cast and great acting, based on the original movie. It features an entire firework of gags and puns, many of which are a lot funnyer if you watched the original "fifty shades (2015)" beforehand. so please do that. altogether the franchise is fluff. but thats what girls love, when hanging out on the couch, drinking 5 dollar starbucks coffee and needing a reason to hand in their papers late at university, so they can suck off the junior professor to make up for it. dismissed. PS: i forgot to mention. the actual BDSM in all three movies is very tame. so,for actual fans of the genre, these movies might not be a good choice. the appeal is probably more towards the average woman.
A Dangerous Method (2011) - for every shrink or psychology major, this movie is a must, starring keira knightley and michael fassbinder. it tells the story of austrian father of psycho-analysis, doctor Jung, and his older friend, doctor Sigmund Freud. living in the high society in Austria, dressed in black garb, they try to cure people of their psychological traumas. One such woman, a russian jewish heiress, Miss Spielrein, comes to doctor Jung's clinic, where he sobers her up, with his favorite method, talk therapy. at first, his morals and principles are solid in check, but as she discovers that her childhood trauma (being spanked by her father while peeing herself) actually turns her on, she decides its a great idea that Doctor Jung "cure" her in the same manner. obviously this weighs heavily on his marriage, and his wife, who looks the entire movie like an alien, with barely any emotions. her sole purpoe in life seems to be a baby breeder, and wearing silly looking hats. So altogether a great movie for every shrink, with a very frivolous Keira Knightley, some spanking thrown in, and a beautiful old sailboat. Probably never in film has 1900's austria looked so repressed and yet kinky at the same time.
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this list might get extended.
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